Faces of Postpartum
Faces of Postpartum
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Pascale, Montréal-Nord (3/4)

"Before giving birth, the roles in my relationship were 50/50. My partner was doing as much as I did, if not more while I was pregnant. But now, the division of labor in the house is what frustrates me the most. I’m upset I’m not the feminist woman I thought I was going to be. It may be my own fault though. I take some guilty pleasure in being so important to my son – there’s nowhere else in our lives we are as essential. I always go the extra mile for everything. At the same time, my partner never washed his clothes or folded them. I’ve always felt guilty doing chores or working while my son is awake, but it never seemed to bother my partner. I wish he were 100% present for the few hours a day we spend together with him. It’s something we have to work on. At the same time, I almost feel embarrassed to tell him he should spend more time with him because for me it goes without saying. Sometimes, I wonder how long I will be able to do all of it, to work and care and be in charge of everything. The feminist in me is disappointed by this situation. I’m sad we’ve not been able to put real changes in place. Your first year with your new baby you think ‘It’s normal to do all those things for him and the family.’ But it’s been two months since I returned back to work and it’s still happening… there is nothing that changed in the end."