Marie, Stafford VA (2/4)
"When my husband went back to work after two weeks, I didn’t think it could get harder, but it did. I was super jealous that he got to go to work. I love my child and he is the most special thing in the world, but I also felt tied down more than I had expected to be. Being at work while you’re pregnant, that’s all anyone tells you ‘Oh, I wish my maternity leave was longer, you’re going to have such a hard time being away from that baby! Are you coming back to work?’ Naturally, that’s how you expect to feel so when I didn’t, I felt like there was something wrong with me. It just wasn’t as fulfilling as I initially expected it to be. That’s another thing you realize quickly: the concept of mom-guilt. I was raised Catholic and mom-guilt is definitely stronger than just catholic-guilt! The only time I really let myself enjoy and snuggle with him was the last month of my maternity leave because I knew there was a final point to it. And now, five months in, I’ve come at least to a point where I’m like ‘Fuck it. This is how I feel, some out there will agree with me and some won’t.’ You can’t base this period of your life on everybody else’s experiences."