Faces of Postpartum
Faces of Postpartum
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Kathryn, Leesburg VA (2/4)

“Three weeks after we came home from the hospital we were on a walk because he was crying and crying and I thought we both could use some fresh air. We went around the block and I kept peeking at him because it was my first time wearing him in a carrier, and I wanted to make sure he was getting air. At one point I looked at him and he wasn’t breathing. I was in complete panic mode. I ripped him out of the baby carrier and laid him down on someone’s lawn trying to get him to start breathing again. I had all these thoughts running through my head in slow motion, and my whole body was shaking. I couldn’t get my phone out of my pocket to call for help because my hands were shaking so badly. But I got him to start breathing. I took him to the ER and they found out he had the flu, which caused him to stop breathing. That’s why he had been crying for three days. We didn’t know because he didn’t have any symptoms. We had to spend two days in the hospital. Now I never leave him with anyone. I left him a couple times with my mom to go into meetings and on three dates with my husband. But I’m always so worried. He almost died on my watch. What if it happens with somebody else? He’s my whole world. I wouldn’t be able to live without him. It’s hard because we don’t get to do a lot of stuff because I don’t want to leave him. But I don’t think it’s going to pass.”