Josée, Montréal-Nord QC (3/4)
"I also had to stay at the hospital for five days when I had my second son. It was so annoying, to have your diet controlled because you were put under, everybody checking your every move and what you put in your mouth, like if they don’t trust you to go back home. With him, I didn’t even try to breastfeed. I didn’t want to go through the same failure than with my first, and feel sad and guilty about it. My milk never came with him either. Anyway, he was a little piggy! Drinking so much. Five ounces every feeding, right from birth. When I finally got back home, my sisters-in-law stayed with us for a while. They didn’t have any kids and were young, so they were happy to come and help. But after a couple of days, I just wanted to be left alone with my sons. I was so happy to get back in my little routine with them. At the same time, I felt very guilty because I had to neglect my first so I could take care of his little brother. Neglect might be a bit strong… but you know, I couldn’t go outside and play with him. I had stiches and couldn’t climb the stairs up and down. I would look at him, so little, in the backyard. He didn’t seem sad or anything. But I can still see him. This image of him outside, alone… it struck me. It still does."