Josée, Montréal-Nord QC (1/4)
"I can’t really remember the first hours after my two sons were born. I had emergency C-sections for both of them and the doctors had to put me under. Those were the hardest moments of my life. It’s like I didn’t really give birth to them because I wasn’t awake. I was so disconnected from the experience that I ended up asking myself ‘Are they really mine?’ Both were hard, but the first one especially. I didn’t get to see him for two days after he was born. At the hospital, they tell you it’s not that long, but by the time you wake up properly and walk over there it feels like an eternity. I couldn’t even hold him after I finally got to meet him. I think they were giving him something for his blood sugar because I had diabetes during my pregnancy. His dad had been able to see him right after he was born, but back then – it was late 80s – they didn’t do skin-to-skin. I stayed at the hospital 5 days to recover. When I was able to finally hold him, I felt better because I could pick him up from the nursery. Babies didn’t room-in like today. I remember it really bothered me. I mean, you carry this baby for nine months and then you can only be with him a couple hours a day? Because it was so long to be able to hold him, when I tried to breastfeed, it didn’t work. I didn’t have milk. He had spent two days with needles in his arms, away from his mom, and I didn’t have milk. It was so hard."