Janine, Chester MD (2/4)
"Pretty much right away we knew we wanted to try again. But coming back from the hospital was hard. I didn’t really know what to do. It was kind of a blur. I ended up going back to work three weeks later. Just kind of trying to push through it, to move on. I also had two friends who had lost a baby at 20 and 23 weeks. I could talk to them. They understood, which helped. Then we got pregnant nine months later, which felt like a long time. I was obviously scared, but they sent me right away to a specialist whom I saw every two weeks. They did a bunch of testing and couldn’t find any kind of disorder; they seemed to think Maria was a pretty isolated incident, that it would be ok. We found out it was a boy this time, which was hard for me at first. I think there was a part of me that thought, somehow, that I would get pregnant with her again. That it was going to be her. Being a boy, it kind of forced me to have closure. To recognize that she was gone. But everything went perfectly with Jonah. He was growing and all the tests all came back perfect. He was actually a big boy! So we decided to be… excited! This was it. We did all the stuff that we were too afraid to do the first time: have a baby shower, build a nursery, announce it on social media. We were so nervous, but we let ourselves be excited. They decided to deliver him early at 36 weeks as a precaution. A week before, I felt like I was having contractions. I’d been really nervous so I texted the specialist and he was like, ‘You know, let’s not take any chances, go to the hospital and deliver. A week is not going to make a big difference.’ So I got there and they were like ‘It’s Braxton Hicks, we can hear the heart, he’s moving, everything is good.’ But I don’t know. For whatever reason, I felt like I wanted them to deliver. Maybe it was instinct or… But my OB said she’d prefer to wait for the day we’d already scheduled, which was exactly a week from that day. So I went home."